QAnon 2.0

​There is a great deal of speculation these days about what will become of QAnon and its adherents. Having once voluntarily joined a cult and let it rule my life for seven years I’d like to offer some thoughts on the subject.
 
What if they’re not completely wrong? What if there really is a vast conspiracy stealing children off the streets of our cities and using them as sacrifices? What if the only thing QAnon got wrong is the understanding of the word “aliens?”  What if our national obsession with immigration led them to erroneously believe the “aliens” who were invading our shores were those coming over the border from South or Central America when, in fact, the “aliens” are those coming from Vega. 
 
According to Avi Loeb, chair of Harvard’s Department of Astronomy, we now have proof objects from the stars have come into our solar system. The item doing a flyby of our planet in 2017, detected by Loeb and his colleagues around the world, is described as oval, about 100-yards long, just millimeters thin, and shiny like metal. It’s compared to satellites we earthlings have been flinging into the galaxy for several years. What if this item was a satellite from another solar system checking on progress by extraterrestrials already on our planet? 
 
In 1992 the Rev. George Coyne, then head of the Vatican Observatory, explained the church’s participation in building a telescope atop Arizona’s Mount Graham by saying ''The church would be obliged to address the question of whether extraterrestrials might be brought within the fold and baptized.'' Were they aware of activity never revealed to the general public?
 
What if, on this most recent flyby, the truly alien object sprinkled a bit of coronavirus into our atmosphere? Wouldn’t that explain the sudden blossoming of variations all over the globe? What if this is their way of taking over our planet? And what if it’s an inside job? What if there is a Vegan who made it far enough into power to ensure the virus was spreading without resistance? What if the children who have been disappearing were actually being used as test subjects to ensure the universal effectiveness of the virus?
 
So how we would we recognize members of the early Vegan strike force? If I was their leader, I would disarm humans by telling them the virus wasn’t such a big deal. Next I would make sure the tools they needed to fight the virus were in short supply and, in a brilliant stroke of genius, sow chaos by forcing them to compete with each other for the meager resources available. All the while, I would tell them how well things were going, how minor the virus was and how I had things under control. I would tout as many supposed cures as possible, whether or not they had merit. The more the virus spread, the more false information I would circulate. I would minimize and verbally attack anyone who defied me. All the while, they would die. I could genuinely say the mission was going well since my real mission would be to decimate their population.
 
Of course, to throw off suspicion I would have to come down with the virus, too, but my real species would be smart enough to build immunity into my system. Of course my miraculous recovery would bolster claims the virus wasn’t a big deal.
 
The alien would have to be careful of one thing, though. Having come from a planet with a very different atmosphere, (s)he would have developed an adaptation that might give away their secret identity. Knowing hiding in plain sight is sometimes the best strategy, they might focus all attention on skin color; just not theirs. Maybe this is why black and brown skin, found all over the planet and acknowledged as the first skin color of our species, has been demonized; a distraction from the real aliens. 
 
What if the alien’s very visible adaptation is the one skin color NOT naturally found on our planet: orange?
 
Think about it, former QAnonies. Based on facts and makes so much more sense than your original theory. This, perhaps, is the truth you’ve been searching for. 
 
You decide.

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And sometimes I write satire.